Negative Vibes

Phuh! I am way way way behind my writing in this blog... there's so much to tell, there's a lot to update... but I'll do that later... for now I just want to write what is felt so heavy in my chest, on my shoulder, on top of my head...

I have been carrying or surrounded by negative vibes... the feeling of bitterness, anger, hatred, vengeance... URGH!!!!!! These feelings have been consuming me that I didnt have any room left for anything else... I tried to distract myself by talking about positive and fun things with people around me (friends at the office, kids at home, FB friends...) but once I was left to myself I'd be engrossed again in these negative feelings.... like right now...

I read somewhere, negative feelings would generate negative vibes around and inside you that somehow the person's health would be affected... Being a negative person, I didnt subscribe to this view of course... until I broke down and fell sick and had to be admitted to hospital last week for 3 days... but still that didnt stop me from cursing and swearing and wishing evil things to happen to those satans...

How can u be be positive when u feel that the world is ganging up against u? How to be positive when your enemy is reaping the benefit of your efforts - hidup bersenang lenang atas usaha kita... this word is always on my lips SIAL SIAL SIAL... like a zikir...

Up to this minute, I feel that I would never never never be able to forgive those satans and devils...

CELAKA LAH HIDUP ENGKORANG ANAK-BERANAK!!!! SIAL!!! BANGSAT!!! ISRAEL!!! PARASIT!!! BANGANG!!! BODOH!!!