As I was falling asleep last night, my thought went back to the last 48 hours... I lost, no doubt, the judge ruled in favour of the defendant... and I was not the defendant, which meant I lost and he won... when the judge read the verdict, I felt like a cannon ball went through my stomach and it left a big hole there... there was no pain though, there was just a feeling of emptiness, nothingness...
I went straight to the hospital after that for my daily dressing, and as I sat waiting for my turn, my thought continued to be empty. The nurse had to tap my shoulder to get my attention because I didnt hear her calling my name - she said she called my name 3 times, good thing she already knew me as I have been seeing her every day for the past 3 weeks.
I lost, no doubt, but that also meant they lost too... My losing the case signified them losing their hope and prayer too... 2 losses by 2 different sides make a win on one side?
The last statement in my last entry: "I may have lost to 1 person, but I have actually won over 5 others" should be read "I may have lost to 1 person, but 5 others have lost too, somehow that feeling filled the hollow made by the cannon ball in my stomach"...
Wow... there really is a cause for celebration after all... Hip hip hooray!!! Ya bda bdooo!!!
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