Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Siapa yang melampau...

The reason for me not entering any new posts for quite some time is primarily due to me not having any new issues to write about. Or I could say that I didnt really have the urge to write...

But today, while I was on the way to a meeting in KL, I saw a headline in Harian Metro on the newsstand... phuh!!! I could almost feel my heart thumping in my chest... I didnt by the paper then, because I knew I would "react" to the news.. I waited until I reached the office (our KL city campus) to read the news online..

Here it is...

The title of the article is SUAMI MELAMPAU...
but I think the title should be MAHMAKAMAH SYARIAH MELAMPAU

KUALA LUMPUR: “Saya sedih dan kecewa kerana kes ini tidak dilayan walaupun pelbagai bukti kekejaman suami diserah kepada Mahkamah Syariah Petaling Jaya dan Kuala Lumpur, termasuk laporan polis bagi menyokong tuntutan fasakh.

“Selain dipukul dan diperlakukan sesuka hati oleh suami, saya ada membuat aduan polis mengenai tindakan anak tiri saya berusia belasan tahun menodai saya, tetapi semua itu tidak dilayan,” keluh seorang wanita berusia 47 tahun yang mendakwa didera suami.

Dia yang hanya mahu dikenali sebagai Sapiah meluahkan kekecewaannya kerana mengalami penderitaan dan penderaan mental serta fizikal sejak berkahwin dengan suaminya enam tahun lalu.

Mengimbas perkahwinan itu, Sapiah mendakwa, dia dipaksa berkahwin apabila sering diancam termasuk diugut dengan senapang patah oleh lelaki berkenaan.

“Kami berkenalan ketika sama-sama bekerja di sebuah syarikat kawalan keselamatan di ibu negara.

“Saya bertugas di bahagian kerani operasi yang antara lain ditugaskan membuat pengesahan keluar masuk senjata api, manakala dia berjawatan pegawai operasi keselamatan.

“Dia memang kerap cuba memikat tapi saya tidak layan. Sehinggalah ke satu tahap dia mengacu senapang patah sambil mengugut akan membunuh saya jika tidak berkahwin dengannya,” katanya ketika ditemui di Balai Berita, di sini.

Akibatnya, Sapiah berkata, dia akhirnya akur dengan desakan itu dan berkahwin dengan lelaki terbabit yang juga duda beranak dua.

Selepas berkahwin, katanya mereka berpindah ke Melaka berikutan suaminya memberi alasan mahu bekerja berhampiran dengan kampung halamannya.

“Ketika di rumah itu, barulah saya tahu segala perlakuan suami. Dia terlampau banyak menonton cakera padat video (VCD) lucah, malah telefon bimbitnya juga mengandungi lebih 500 gambar dan rakaman porno.

“Apa yang mengejutkan ialah suami juga mengetahui anaknya turut mempunyai kegemaran menonton VCD lucah, tapi dia langsung tak marah atau melarang.

“Suami juga mempunyai nafsu terlampau tinggi... setiap hari secara purata dia menginginkan persetubuhan sebanyak 10 kali,” katanya.

Sapiah berkata, kesabarannya sampai ke kemuncak apabila pada satu malam, dia yang sedang lena, terkejut apabila dicium beberapa kali.

“Saya ingatkan suami kerana dia berada di sebelah ketika saya mahu terlelap sebelum itu. Tapi saya curiga kerana bau badan berlainan dan apabila membuka mata, saya terkejut sebaik mendapati ia sebenarnya anak tiri saya.

“Ketika itu suami saya berada di sebelah dan hanya melihat saja perlakuan jijik anaknya terhadap saya,” katanya yang kemudian membuat laporan polis berhubung kejadian itu.

Sejak itu, Sapiah berkata, dia membuat tuntutan fasakh tiga kali di Mahkamah Rendah Syariah Wilayah Persekutuan Kuala Lumpur dan Mahkamah Rendah Syariah Petaling Jaya.

Bagaimanapun, katanya jawapan sedih diterima kerana mahkamah menolak permohonannya.

“Saya merayu untuk mendapat pembelaan. Hakim beberapa kali menegur kerana tiada peguam hadir bagi pihak saya.
“(Tetapi) Mana ada duit untuk mengupah peguam. Saya cuba dapat bantuan di Biro Bantuan Guaman Selangor, namun sering kali hanya mampu mendengar alasan mereka tidak cukup kakitangan bahagian syariah dan tak ramai peguam syarie yang ada,” katanya.

Sapiah berkata, dia kini bertambah runsing apabila setiap hari diganggu dengan SMS dihantar suaminya yang antara lain berbunyi: “I (saya) solat hajat, wahai Tuhan kami, Engkau sentaplah nyawa isteriku xxxxxxx xx xxxxx sebagai pengajaran.”

Sapiah berkata, dia dan suaminya tidak tinggal serumah sejak 2006 dan mendakwa tidak diberi nafkah sejak tinggal berasingan.

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I had a conversation with a mufti of one of the states about a related issue not too long ago, i.e issues of having to appoint a lawyer and the fact that divorce/fasakh,taklik/tebus talak proceeding being tried in an open court. And he did say a few pertinent points:

1. Divorce (and the like) proceeding should not be tried in an open court because some time the issues are quite embarassing to either or both parties.

2. There isnt really a need for a lawyer to represent the parties. The judge should be the one asking questions and evaluating the answers. He even said, the way mahkamah syariah runs the divorce trials, one might have the impression that the judge and the lawyers have something up their sleeves...

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As for the article that I pasted above, I have only one thing to say about mahkamah syariah... SIAL!!!

Men are not afraid to act MELAMPAU because they know mahkamah syariah condones their behaviour... so in this case, yang MELAMPAU sebenarnya adalah mahkamah syariah itu sendiri...

Monday, September 14, 2009

Nabil and memory of Raya 2001

This entry has been in a draft folder for quite some time... and I am posting it at 1am 24 Oct 2009.

My mind is working overtime again...

Lately, I find it so hard to fall asleep...

So, I am doing what most sensible girl would do... blogging... hehe...

As I read the entries that I have written, I noticed that I forgot to write about Nabil on his birthday like I did on Muaz's and Amin's birthday...

Sorry Nabil...

So, here it is...

Actually a lot has happened in the gap that I didnt post any entries... among others...

I turned 39 for the 6th time on 16 August :) No big celebration, just an intimate dinner with kids... their dad bought me an expensive gift... I took it (kata orang rezeki jangan ditolak, maut jangan dicari)... I used it several times but later decided I should not have used it. So I put it back in the shopping bag that it was brought in...

After my promotion, my immediate superior resigned and the organisation has not appointed a replacement yet. Which explains my absence from the world of blogging...

I have also been outstation several times, to Penang (again) and Kuala Trengganu (in Ramadhan). Plus I had to go to Ampang branch a few times for internal audit and training of new staff... twice in Ramadhan... letih...

My Nabil turned 8 on 10th September... my youngest boy... actually I'm still treating him like a baby, and I think he too must think that he is still a baby... up to a point that he occasionally still wets his bed...

But his life has been a dramatic one, despite baru 8 years...

Like my other children, Nabil was also born prematurely (30 weeks) with a mere weight of 1.68kg. My late mother said, that was an equivalent to ikan tenggiri. :) I gave birth at a private maternity clinic in Klang, and he couldnt breath on his own. The Dr had wrongly estimated his lungs condition and was not prepared to treat such condition. The clinic contacted Klang GH (HTAR) but was turned down. Nabil was later transferred to KL GH. And despite being premature, I delivered him via C-section as he was lying transverse in my womb. I was only discharged after 4 days and immediately driven to KL GH to join him there. (Gov hospital policy: mother and newborn baby must be warded together if either one is not well enough to be discharged).

We were both discharged after almost 2 months bermastautin di KL GH tu...

Everything was fine until he was 3 months old. Unlike his brothers and sister, he was a cryer (kuat menangis), sometimes for no apparent reasons. One day when I was at work, the maid called and asked me to come home immediately, she claimed that she knew why Nabil cried a lot and she didnt know the name of the illness here. She wanted me to come home so that she could show it to me. Rupanya it was a hernia or angin pasang. In fact it was a double hernia, on his navel and just above his bird.... He had to undergo an operation, and it was performed a few days before Raya 2001 (December).

And that Raya was my turn to follow him (my kids' daddy) to spend the Raya at his mother's, I had no problem with that. But the night before the trip, he told me that his other wife's sister and 3 kids were going to ride with us. And the way that he told me, it was actually an instruction and there was no room for discussion. I said, between my 5 kids, me, himself and another 4 stowaways, the ride would be very uncomfortable. What more with a baby who just underwent an operation. So, I disagreed with his plan. And because of that, he literally "cursed" me and told me to not ever balik kg with him.. he literally "halau" me and the kids to balik kg to my mother's place in Perak. And I had no problem with that as well... He just went off and left us ...

As for me and my kids, we went back to Perak after solat subuh the next day (on the Raya day)...

Later (at a raya visit to his brother in Pandan), his sister in law told me what happened during the Raya at his kg. He was telling about my "derhaka" attitude "loudly" at the last buka puasa gathering at his mother's house and he referred to me as "perempuan tu"...

But God is really almighty... all just and fair... all compassionate... that night he sent his brother in law (his wife's brother) to KL to pick the sister and 3 kids that were supposed to tumpang us. On the way to KL, on the PLUS highway, the front windscreen broke for no apparent reason... So, his brother in law ended up spending Raya in a workshop... and the sister and 3 kids only reached kg on the second day of raya...

Anyway... that raya was not a bad raya after all... I got a brand new nephew... my sister who went balik kg to raya with my mum, ended in the hospital to have her 5th child... My brother who works and lives in Kuching Sarawak also were there...

I went back to Shah Alam on the 3rd day of raya but he only came back after a week... and he was still angry and blamed me on the mishap that happened to his brother in law on the PLUS highway...

He never did apologise... somehow that event just faded and passed and forgotten... I dont know if I have forgiven him for what he did that raya... hm...