Sunday, October 23, 2011

When does it end...

So much is going on in my life right now... So much negativity...

Sometimes I feel like running from it all... just drop everything and leave... but the question is where to... I'm too old to be running away from problems... too old to be chasing rainbows...

Maybe God never meant for me to be happy, that's why happiness (if any) never lasts for more than a few moments in my life...

Am I trying too hard or don't I put enough effort?

I used to be a believer in the law of averages... but somehow now I'm beginning to wonder... does the law apply to my life at all...

Crying does not help anymore... tears used to be able to wash some of the pain... but now no more... after the tears all dried up, the pain is still there, in fact the hurt even burns more than before...

Who do I turn to in times like this? When the silence of the night becomes so loud, it deafens my ears... when the cold night embraces me, it cuts so deep, it hurts me even more than I ever thought it possibly could...

When will this end? when does it stop hurting... when will my heart become whole again... when will the pain and sorrow go away... when...

1 comment:

  1. Ani,

    Life has not been fair to you lately, but that's not a reason to be so disheartened. I pun tka tau macam mana nk cakap, tp org agama kata ini lah peluang utk menaikkan martabat you di sisi Allah. Byk2 lah bersabar. You've been so strong before, and I am sure you can remain strong forever (mmg easier said than done, but yo9u've done it before!). Remember the kids, they are your ROCKS!

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