Species

2 species of human beings that I dont like:

1. those who dont know how to say THANK YOU
and
2. those who dont know how to say SORRY

I like it just the way it is...

I tried to change things... I failed...
Reason? You and they wouldnt let me...
So, I am "forced" to live with this arrangement imposed to me by you and them...
May be for the rest of my life, if I outlive you...
And I have come to term with it...
I have accepted the fact that I can never change you or them
Nor can I change the predicament I'm in...
And I have given up trying to change you...
So, dont try to change me...
That's all I ask of you...
I have no choice but to just like it just the way it is...

things that u dont know wont hurt u...

Really? Hm... to some extent, I do believe in the phrase...

In certain cases, things that you dont know may kill you... for example, if you dont know that u had cancer, and u go about ur everyday life as usual, and not seeking treatment at all (because u dont know it), of course the cancer would definitely kill u sooner than otherwise... or in certain cases, knowing the disease might even save ur life altogether...

But in other cases, I am a strong believer of the phrase "(certain) things that I dont know wont hurt me"... There are things in this life that knowledge about them would not add to the body of knowledge that I already have... so, knowing those things would definitely have no value at all to me... Or even worse, knowing those things, or being told to me about those things would actually unnecessarily trigger certain switch that would make me switch my mood from good to bad, or from bad to worse...

And sadly, some people, a certain someone actually refuses, time and time again, to understand this... and never cease to attempt conversation on the matter with me... Come on lah... takkan lah tak nampak my sudden mood swing if certain names or certain stories are narrated to me... In fact, almost all the time that he tried to start a conversation on matters related to those things, I would give him reactions, that a normal human being would pick up immediately... Sometimes when I think about it, I do believe that his behaviour is deliberate... he purposely mention those things to bug me, or to upset me or to pick a fight... why? ask him, not me... he is the one doing it, not me...


I mean he is well aware of the animosity between us... he knows very well how I hate them... what is the point that he is trying to prove?

Tell me what good are those information to me... tipu pulak tu... tambah pulak, I had already told him that I dont want to know anything about them... hatta kalau dia org mati pun I tak nak tau... sebab to me they are like bugs... no value, no meaning... so, what good would it bring to strike a conversation about bugs or about things that have no meaning...

I have told him for the last time about my care-lessness as far as they are concerned... hopefully he will never mention them again after this... tu pun I dah cukup baik tak panggil dia orang "anjing" like ada my friend yg panggil madu dan anak2 perempuan tu ANJING... and everytime her husband mentions her madu's and children's names, or everytime her husband tries to tell her anything about them, she would immediately respond TUI!!! TUI!!! TUI!!! SIAL!!! SIAL!!! SIAL!!! Ha... I dah cukup baik, I tak buat macam tu... :)

So, I hope he would really think twice before he tries to mention anything at all that are linked to them next time... I hope he would never bring up the subject of BUGS again after this... because if he did, it would really BUG me...

Movie night...

Last night was the first time I purchased a movie on astro first. The kids have been asking me to buy a movie ever since the program first started. But I never felt that it was worth it... but this weekend my sister is here for the weekend with his son... so, the kids are using her... "please mummy... mak yang pun nak tengok juga..."

The movie was "Khurafat"... alahai... despite banyak pujian that I heard about the movie review... to me the movie macam movie retro je... banyaknya flaws pulak tu...

1. org dlm movie tu dah tau kena "ganggu"... duduk rumah dalam gelap, tak buka lampu...
2. hospital pun gelap... mana ada hospital yg tutup lampu masa tidur... in fact aku selalu gaduh dgn nurse kalau aku masuk hospital, sebab aku mintak dia tutup lampu, dia cakap tak boleh...  grrr...
3. bilik mayat pun gelap...
4. heronya keje atendan bilik mayat je, tapi bawa kereta mewah... I think it was either harrier or lexus... and rumahnya jugak... mak ai...
5. Liyana Jasmay yg selalu bawa watak budak nakal tu diberi watak perempuan dewasa yg alim... adoi... tak kena langsung.... and tak menjadi pun...
6. Dialog/skrip nya... mcm movie 80an... cerita2 mcm menanti hari esok... azura... mcm tak berkembang langsung industri filem melayu ni...

Nasib baik tengok kat astro first, RM15 je for 7 persons... kalau tengok kat TGV, at least RM100 (tickets plus pop corn)... alangkah ruginya... ish ish ish...

really need a break...

I really need a break from this chaos...

Tiba2 teringat lagu ni... uji rashid kalau tak silap... nanti malam nak cari kat youtube (youtube is blocked at the office)...

SANG RAJUNA HATI

Pergi sudah cinta hati
Entahkan bila kembali
Tinggallah hidupku sunyi
Seumpama rumah tak berisi

Hilang seri maya ini
Dik hidup dirundung sepi
Tolonglah Illahi Rabbi
Agar lepas dari siksa ini

Kalau turut seruan hati
Lautan luas kurenangi
Agar dapat aku bertemu
Sang Rajuna hati

Pohon-pohon tinggi menjulang
Lambai oh lambaikan daunmu
Panggil pulang kekasihku
Sang Rajuna hati

Survival of the fattest... part 2

Another fat person at the office cari pasal with me today...

With the audit preparation, everybody is tensed up... but do u really need to add to the stress... biul betul la...

I hv said it time and time again... I love my job....but sometimes the ppl around me are making it less and less enjoyable... somehow they enjoy making other ppl feel stressful... bodo ke apa?

Somebody in her dept buat keje tak betul, aku pulak yg disalahkannya... tak kena mengena langsung... dasar mentality pekerja kelab malam... eh, where did that come from? lol...

Tahlah... my body is tired but my mind refuses to shut down... so merepeklah di sini... if u (readers) dont understand... that's ok...  not meant for u to understand... here is the place for me to blurt out whatever that crosses my mind that I cannot say it out loud...tempat release tension...

Hm... I must really be on that diet that I keep postponing... because I dont want to turn into those fat ladies...  suka mengamuk tak tentu pasal and like a hurricane wallup everything in their path... I hate them!!!

cerita org tgh stress...

This one is taken from a friend's FB wall...

A student showed a blank piece of paper to his teacher...

Teacher asked: what is this?

Student answered: a picture of a cow eating grass on a field...

Teacher puzzled and asked: but there is no grass...

The student looked at the teacher and said: grass all gone, eaten by the cow...

Teacher looked at the student with wide eyes: I see... and what happened to the cow?

Student immediately answered: No more grass, so cow left this field to look for more grass on other field...

Hahaha...

A+ for creativity
F for drawing...

Stress

Aduuuh... all stressed out...

And when I'm stressed out, bp will go up to the sky... today's reading was so bad, dr wondered how i'm still standing up.. she gave me 2-day MC, but of coz I could only take the MC in my dream...

My department is going to be audited next week... 4 days (1 - 4 March)... u bet i'm losing my sleep over this...

And I found a good quote today on a friend's wall (FB):

HILANG KASIH BOLEH DIGANTI, HILANG KERJA SUSAH NAK CARI GANTI...

:)

Survival of the fattest... oops I mean fittest...

I survived another day at the office today... despite hati yg membuak2... I managed to maintain my composure and professionalism...

God knows how my heart is still not settled from what happened last Friday...

I dont know... I never had good luck working for fat people... lol... where did that come from? Yeah, actually I just came with that conclusion just before I fell asleep last night... a childish statement, I know, but I need to have something/someone to blame for what happened... I dont make sense? That's ok, this particular entry is just for me to understand...

Err... btw, this reminds me to start going on a diet... my last check up (last Saturday) showed that my weight now is more than when I was 7 months pregnant... ouch!!

Hopefully by next appointment, which is in 2 months, my weight would be down by at least by 5kg... and someone would kancing gigi when he/she/they look at me... lol...

When the nurse read my weight that day, I remembered someone did call me "fat devil" in her blog not too long ago... hahaha... and at that time I was actually about 10kg less than now (because I just had an operation). Kalau time tu, I was a fat devil, imagine what would she call me if she sees me now :-)

And if u wonder why I laughed when I was called a fat devil... the reason was (and still is) that person's mom was twice my size... hahaha... if I was a fat devil, what would her mom be? An obese angel? hahaha.. obese yes... angel hardly... more like satan worshiper... ooops... well she is... fat and bald and with satanic eyes...not to mention bahasa beracun yg dia selalu cakap kat my little Nabil and Aqim...

Anyway... my entry today is a bit (or a lot?) merapu because as I said above, my heart is still not settled from what happened last Friday... I still feel disappointed, I'm still hurt, I'm still sad, I'm still upset....... hmm...

Kawan makan kawan...

I have officially appointed someone else as my enemy no. 1 now, even above my deceitful MJ. I cant write much about it here, because a number of the people in my office are readers of this blog - my mistake, I once checked my blog at one of the admin staff's PC and forgot to delete the history...

That someone is (was now) actually a friend of mine for more than 10 years. It took me that long to realise her true colours... walaupun ada banyak occasions dia buat benda yg tak sepatutnya dibuat oleh seorang kawan kepada kawannya...

Well... never mind, Allah maha adil dan bijaksana... aku doakan dia akan dapat balasan yg setimpal dengan apa yg telah dia buat...

Kifarah...

‎"Tidaklah seorang muslim tertimpa suatu penyakit dan sejenisnya melainkan Allah akan menggugurkan bersamanya dosa-dosanya seperti pohon yang menggugurkan daun-daunnya" (Hadis riwayat Bukhari dan Muslim)

Do I look that old... Do I look that young...

Is it true that the crowd that u hang out with influences your appearance or others' perception on ur age?

Let me explain...

This morning, I had breakfast with a couple of frens, Shima and Sab, at the Grand Blue Wave Shah Alam. We have been doing this for may be more than ten years now I think... "We" means me and a few friends, Sabariah, Shima, Aliza and Radziah... and from time to time adalah some other girl friends yg join... and "this" means having breakfast meet about once a month around Shah Alam, either at a restaurant, hotel or each other's house... And I pun sebenarnya tak lah dapat join every month... in fact I think among us, I lah yg selalu ponteng because I used to work on Saturday, and the breakfast meet is normally done on Saturday... but starting this month the organisation that I work for started a trial 6 months period of having a 2-day weekend off... so, hopefully after this I tak lah selalu ponteng lagi ya Sab and Shima (if u two are reading this now)... :)

Anyway, nak ceritanya, something funny happened today after the meet... when we were paying for the breakfast, the cashier asked us "senior citizens ke?"... We looked at each other speechless at first, not knowing what to say... In my heart... "OMG... do I look that old?" But it was Sab who responded first I think, she asked "50 kira senior citizens ke" because Shima just turned 50 a few days ago... And then the cashier explained, "kalau senior citizens, ada 50% discount" and then he must have felt guilty agaknya.. and said "tak pe lah, I give 50% discount jugaklah pada puan"...


Balik rumah I related the incident to my son, and he said... "gila... mana ada mummy nampak tua mcm tu..." but he laughed anyway...

After that we went Carrefour Shah Alam to buy our weekly supply... and this time the cashier, merely a boy who I think is barely 18, may be waiting for his SPM result, called me "kakak"... hahhahaha.. Muaz looked at me and said "see....." lol...

Hahahha... thus why I asked the question at the beginning of this entry... Sab and Shima... jgn marah, I tak kata u two look old, in fact between the 3 of us, I'm the one yg nampak paling tua I think despite the fact that I'm the youngest, in fact I think, physically I ni memang the oldest sebab I yg paling banyak penyakit... :(

I feel so kelakar, within less than 3 hours, I hv been referred to as a senior citizen (by an adult man) and a kakak (by a boy)... which means I have to hang out more with my kids agaknya... hahaha... "Oh no!!!" I think that would be Mia's and Muaz's response... lol...

To operate or not to operate...

I get cold sweat just by looking at these photos...

CTS (Carpal Tunnel Syndrome)

I woke up Sunday morning with such unbearable pain on my left wrist up to fingertips (especially the middle finger) and down to elbow... adoi... felt like current went through my arm... tried to rub minyak angin, minyak urat, minyak serai wangi, minyak cap kapak, minyak geliga, minyak gamat... short of minyak goreng ikan je... satu pun tak effective...

My kids took turn rubbing my hand... MJ too was sympathetic...

I knew something was wrong... that's why I dreaded going to see the dr, but the pain was becoming worse and worse everyday, that I finally drove myself (single-handedly... literally..) to see a dr last Tuesday... and here's the diagnose... Carpal Tunnel Syndrome

Hm... redha je lah... God is testing me again... alhamdulillah... because that means He loves me and He knows that I'm able to face it and live with it...

My dr asked me to go for second opinion and to think about going through a surgery to correct it... I have gone for the second opinion and the diagnose is the same... surgery? I have to think some more...

No, this didnt just happen over night... I've had the symptoms (numbness especially in the morning, feels like current going through it secara tiba2 for no reason, twitching...) for quite some time, I think I've had it for the past 2 or 3 years, but I didnt pay attention to it as I wasnt aware about such disease or condition...

But I notice one thing... one never knows one's potential until one is faced with the situation where "one hand can still do"... haha... I can still drive with one hand... I can still type (slower of course) with one hand... I can still wash dishes with one hand,.. I can still cook with one hand... in fact last night I prepared quite an extensive meal for dinner, with Muaz's and Mia's help of course...

Hm... tapi nasib baik juga lah the hand affected is the left one and I am right-handed... but still... dr warned me about chances of my other good hand catching the same condition, primarily because the early symptoms are already present...

Cuppy cakes for Mia on her 14th birthday... 8 Feb 2011...

Happy birthday to you...

Happy birthday to you...

Happy birthday to Mia...

Happy birthday to you...