Sunday, April 26, 2009

An unplanned vacation...

I have to go to our Penang branch on 28 - 30 April. I had originally planned to take a day off on the 27th to meet my lawyer to strategise my next court appearance on the 12th of next month. But suddenly my VP asked me to handle accreditation visit for the Penang campus... which means my leave application (though has been approved) must be cancelled to prepare for that accreditation exercise... what a bummer...

When I told my daughter (Mia) about it... she said... "ala mummy nak ikut... mummy selalu pegi Penang, tak pernah ajak kita orang..."

I asked back... "what about school? You'll be missing 3 days of school?"

Mia replied: ala... 3 days je... plus Monday is a holiday for us because Saturday and Sunday are sports days. Friday is also a holiday...

Hm... so we had an emergency family meeting... and the outcome of the meeting?

Yeay!!! We are going on a vacation to Penang!!!

So, we are leaving on Tuesday morning, I will be driving. The kids will have to play among themselves at the hotel when I go to the office to entertain the people from the MOHE agency. The real vacation will start as soon as my work finishes on 30th afternoon.

The kids are so excited... they cant seem to stop talking and asking about it.

BTW, out of excitement, Aqim told his father about the trip yesterday. So, last night, he called and asked "Tak nak ajak abang ke?" I just answered in one word "NO" and hung up.

Saturday, April 25, 2009

UMNO admits syariah court is not efficient and far from being fair...

but will they do anyhting about it?...

‘Tak sepatutnya berlaku’ - Harian Metro 25 April 2009

KUALA LUMPUR: ”Saya sedih kerana perkara ini (tuntutan fasakh berbelas tahun) sepatutnya tidak berlaku dalam masyarakat kita kini.“Ketegasan dan pertimbangan bijaksana dituntut bagi mengelak lebih ramai isteri menjadi sewel dan gila akibat terpaksa menanti (penyelesaian kes) terlalu lama,” kata Ketua Pergerakan Puteri Umno, Datuk Rosnah Rasyid Shirlin, semalam.Menurutnya, ketegasan dan pertimbangan mahkamah perlu diberikan terhadap sesuatu kes yang membabitkan tuntutan fasakh jika ia benar-benar mempunyai asas kukuh.Beliau berkata, tidak adil jika isteri yang sudah memberikan alasan kukuh dalam permohonan yang dibuat, tidak diberikan perhatian, malah lebih memberi ruang kepada suami.

“Isteri akan mengalami kesan yang lebih teruk jika dibandingkan dengan kesenangan yang bakal dinikmati suami apabila masih boleh berpoligami walaupun perbicaraan masih berjalan,” katanya, semalam.

Beliau mengulas laporan Harian Metro semalam, mengenai seorang isteri jelita menjadi gila akibat tidak mampu menahan pelbagai tohmahan dan desakan hidup apabila tuntutan fasakh tidak diselesaikan walaupun berbelas tahun difailkan di mahkamah syariah.

Walaupun wanita berkenaan memiliki rupa paras menarik sehingga menerima banyak lamaran untuk mendirikan tumah tangga, tindakan khianat suami menggunakan ‘kuasa’ dengan menjadikan mahkamah syariah sebagai alat, endera emosi dan kehidupan isteri hingga kehidupan isteri porak peranda dan menjadi sewel.

Nasib isteri itu didedahkan Yang Dipertua Yayasan Dakwah Islamiah Malaysia (Yadim), Datuk Nakhaie Ahmad, yang mengakui wanita berkenaan menjadi sewel apabila tuntutan fasakhnya masih tidak dapat diselesaikan di mahkamah walaupun berbelas tahun menunggu.

Rosnah yang juga Timbalan Menteri Kesihatan berkata, sudah tiba masanya mahkamah mempertingkatkan kecekapan mereka supaya dihormati dan bukan menjadi bahan tohmahan.

Menurutnya, perubahan perlu dilakukan segera supaya organisasi yang menjadi tempat mengadili kes suami isteri itu benar-benar adil kepada kedua-dua pihak.“Keadaan ini tidak boleh diterima kerana wanita berkenaan boleh membina hidup baru yang lebih baik jika mahkamah cepat membuat keputusan.

“Bagaimanapun, keadaan ini (isteri sewel) sudah berlaku yang menuntut pelbagai pihak mencari jalan bagi menanganinya secara lebih berkesan untuk mengelak lebih ramai isteri menjadi gila dan sewel,” katanya.

Bagi menangani masalah itu, Rosnah berkata, kepemimpinan tertinggi perlu bertindak cepat bagi merubah sistem di mahkamah syariah supaya ia bukan saja adil, tetapi telus terhadap sesuatu kes yang dibicarakan.

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I just have one simple question: Will kepimpinan tertinggi feel the need to change the syariah court, when the gender most adversely affected by the unjust syariah court is not well represented in that group of so-called kepimpinan tertinggi?

Friday, April 24, 2009

Hakim mahkamah syariah ni tak takut ke balasan di akhirat?


Bekas suami lepas tangan
Oleh Sarah Zulkiflisarah@hmetro.com.my

KUALA LUMPUR: Seorang suri rumah terpaksa menanggung sengsara rentetan sikap bekas suaminya yang dipercayai lepas tangan apabila gagal membayar nafkah tiga anak mereka sejak lebih setahun lalu. Malah, tanggungan yang dipikul membesarkan tiga anaknya, termasuk dua daripadanya masih bersekolah semakin berat selepas wanita berusia 40 tahun itu diberhentikan kerja bulan lalu akibat kemelesetan ekonomi global.

Wanita yang enggan dikenali itu mendakwa bekas suaminya mula menunjukkan ‘perangai’ bermula Disember 2007 apabila tidak membayar nafkah anak seperti diperintahkan mahkamah.“Disebabkan bekas suami lepas tangan kerana enggan membayar nafkah, keputusan dikeluarkan mahkamah pada Julai tahun lalu yang menuntut bayaran tertunggak.

“Bagaimanapun, sikap bekas suami saya semakin teruk, malah sering menggunakan alasan enggan membayar nafkah konon kerana tidak membenarkan anak berjumpa dengannya walaupun hakikat sebenarnya tidak,” katanya di sini, semalam.

Dia yang sedang mencari pekerjaan baru berkata, dia pada mulanya lega apabila bekas suaminya melaksanakan tanggungjawab dengan membayar nafkah selepas bercerai sejak 2003, namun kecewa apabila lelaki itu kemudian enggan bertanggungjawab.

“Keputusan perintah membayar nafkah tertunggak dikeluarkan mahkamah tahun lalu, namun sehingga kini saya belum menerima sesen pun” katanya.

Menurutnya, dia kini terpaksa menunggu lagi tindakan mahkamah disebabkan sikap tidak bertanggungjawab bekas suaminya yang masih enggan membayar nafkah.“Saya merayu pihak mahkamah mempercepat proses tuntutan nafkah ini kerana yang penting adalah masa depan anak.“Wang itu diperlukan untuk pembelajaran anak saya. Kini, ditambah pula dengan keadaan saya yang sedang mencari pekerjaan selepas diberhentikan,” katanya.

Katanya, dia menghadapi pelbagai tekanan sepanjang menunggu kes tuntutan nafkah, termasuk terpaksa menanggung kos guaman yang tinggi.“Saya bersyukur kerana keluarga amat memahami dan membantu selepas bercerai dengan bekas suami.“Kini, saya tidak tahu ke mana lagi untuk mengadu selain berharap tuntutan nafkah ini selesai dengan secepat mungkin bagi kepentingan anak,” katanya.

---

What I dont understand is, after Mahkamah has ordered the father to pay up including tunggakan, but he ignored the order.... isnt that a contempt? Why didnt the court take any action on him?

Ohhhh... I know why... because the judge is of the same species as the father of the 3 kids... male chauvinist pigs!!!

Another "CELAKA" proof of Mahkamah Syariah

Gila tunggu kes fasakh
Oleh Ahmad Shahrul Nizam Muhammadahmadshahrul@hmetro.com.my

KUALA LUMPUR: Seorang isteri jelita menjadi gila akibat tidak mampu menahan pelbagai tohmahan dan desakan hidup apabila tuntutan fasakh tidak diselesaikan walaupun berbelas tahun difailkan di mahkamah syariah.Walaupun wanita berkenaan memiliki rupa paras menarik sehingga menerima banyak lamaran untuk mendirikan rumah tangga, tindakan khianat suami menggunakan ‘kuasa’ dengan menjadikan mahkamah syariah sebagai alat, berjaya mendera emosi dan kehidupan isteri hingga kehidupan isteri porak-peranda dan akhirnya menjadi sewel.Wanita berpendidikan tinggi yang berusia lebih 40 tahun itu kini terpaksa mengisi masa lapang dengan menjaja kecil-kecilan dari rumah ke rumah selain gemar bercakap sendirian.

Nasib isteri malang itu didedahkan Yang Dipertua Yayasan Dakwah Islamiah Malaysia (Yadim), Datuk Nakhaie Ahmad, yang mengakui wanita berkenaan menjadi sewel apabila tuntutan fasakhnya masih tidak dapat diselesaikan di mahkamah walaupun sudah berbelas tahun menunggu.

Menurutnya, beliau terkejut apabila wanita terbabit mendedahkan masalah itu apabila tidak dapat menanggung keperitan akibat tindakan suami menggunakan mahkamah bagi menderanya. (HOW COULD MAHKAMAH AND HAKIM ALLOW THIS? APA AGAMA HAKIM NI? KALAU ISLAM TAKKAN MACAM NI?)

“Dia menuntut fasakh dan tidak boleh hidup dengan suami kerana mempunyai alasan kukuh yang sepatutnya dibenarkan mahkamah secepat mungkin.“Bagaimanapun, pelbagai kerenah dilakukan suami menyebabkan kes berkenaan berlarutan sehingga mangsa menghampiri usia separuh abad.“Lebih menyedihkan, isteri itu menjadi sewel dengan bercakap sendirian serta melakukan perkara yang mengarut,” katanya.

Beliau mengulas laporan Harian Metro baru-baru ini, mengenai keluhan seorang isteri, mahu dikenali Aisyah, 35, yang terpaksa menanti tujuh tahun sebelum mahkamah membenarkan tuntutan fasakhnya sehingga terpaksa menolak lebih 10 lamaran lelaki.Bagaimanapun, kegembiraan itu direntap semula apabila suami wanita itu membuat rayuan di mahkamah lebih tinggi supaya pelaksanaan keputusan itu ditangguhkan menyebabkan kes itu berlarutan dua tahun lagi.

Harian Metro turut melaporkan perbuatan suami melakukan aksi lucah di depan anak tanpa disedari selain menjadi simpanan seorang datin yang mahu nafsunya dipenuhi, menyebabkan isteri terpaksa menuntut fasakh di mahkamah. Nakhaie berkata, semua wanita berkenaan tidak akan ditimpa nasib malang jika mahkamah bersikap adil dengan mengambil kira punca tuntutan itu dibuat.Menurutnya, mahkamah sepatutnya bertindak cepat membenarkan permohonan itu jika alasan tuntutan ada kaitan dengan sikap suami yang membahayakan isteri dan anak.“Isteri tidak akan sewenang-wenangnya melakukan perkara itu tanpa alasan kukuh dan apa yang dilakukan bagi mempertahankan hak dan keselamatan keluarga yang terancam.“Adalah tidak masuk akal jika mahkamah sengaja mengikut rentak suami serta semua peraturan walaupun mahkamah juga mempunyai kuasa untuk mempercepatkan sesuatu kes bagi memelihara keadilan,” katanya.

Beliau bukan mahu mempertahankan sesiapa, tetapi menuntut keadilan bagi menyelamatkan lebih ramai wanita yang menghadapi masalah emosi akibat kelewatan mahkamah yang boleh menyebabkan mereka sewel.“Memang Allah membenci perceraian tapi ia diharuskan jika mempunyai sebab tertentu bagi menyelamatkan isteri yang mahu membina kehidupan lebih baik.“Tidak mustahil kebenaran diberikan mahkamah syariah akan membolehkan isteri dapat memiliki kehidupan lebih baik berbanding hidup bersama suami yang memiliki sikap pelik dan boleh mengancam kehidupan mereka,” katanya.Selain itu, kata Nakhaie, mahkamah wajar mempercepat dan menimbangkan kes fasakh jika alasan diberi membabitkan jenayah berat atau seksual yang dilakukan suami terhadap ahli keluarga.

Menurutnya, tindakan segera perlu dilakukan jika mahkamah syariah memiliki cukup bukti dan tidak membenarkan ia berlarutan bertahun-tahun bagi menyelamatkan isteri.“Bagi saya, tempoh lama mungkin bukan masalah jika membabitkan kes tuntutan harta, tetapi apabila membabitkan keselamatan dan masa depan wanita, ia wajar diberikan perhatian serius.“Mahkamah perlu membuka mata seluas-luasnya bagi membuat keputusan tepat dan tegas supaya golongan isteri dapat diselamatkan dan pada waktu sama mendidik suami supaya tidak sewenang-wenangnya memperalatkan mahkamah untuk kepentingan diri,” katanya.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Three phases...

Phase 1 - angry, furious, slapped me, pushed me, maki, sumpah, kicked me out of the house

Phase 2 (after I filed for takliq and moved out with the kids) - sad, cry (crocodile tears), sms and call 5 - 6 times a day. Came and sat in the living room of my house like a statue with a saddest or more like pathetic looking face ever... Asked me out for bfast, lunch, dinner (which I did go once only, on the night before Christmas with the kids at Muara Ikan Bakar Port Klang).

Phase 3 - ignore (but keeps asking the kids on anything and everything that I do), konon2 nak test if I would miss him if he ignores me like that... hahaha... moron!

Conclusion: Phase 2 and 3 are pure acting. Phase 1 is the true him.

Hope I wont fall for it again...

Back to work...

I am back to work after a 2-day MC... sebelum sampai office semangat berkobar2, masuk je office tengok keje menimbun... aduh... OMG... I don't know where to start... I missed 3 deadlines (due Tuesday and yesterday) and I have 2 deadlines tomorrow and Saturday......

Arghhhh!!!!!!!!

Hey... I shouldn't be complaining... I should be thankful that I have a job... Syukur Alhamdulillah...

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

The long awaited holiday...

I have been longing for a time off from work for quite some time... the past weeks have been extremely busy with management meetings, endorsement of exam results, registration of new students, re-registration of returning students, convocation... phuh!!!

Anyway... finally I got my wish... today is my second day of MC.. hahaha... MC pun MC lah... as long as I can get some time to myself...

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Headache the size of a football field...

There was a big function all day yesterday for my office at PWTC, and it was later followed by a royal dinner. When I arrived home after midnight, I found Aqim and Nabil (my 2 youngest boys) sleeping soundly in my bed... They were both shirtless... kesian anak2 mummy... I havent been able to install an aircond in this house yet (I used up all my savings buying this house after I was kicked out from that house that I co-owned with that si polan).

Despite the long and tiring day (and the night)... I was not able to fall asleep. I tried warm milk, counting sheep, reciting the 4-quls... my mind still refused to shut down - That explains the long entry that I composed at 2am this morning... I dont know what time I finally dozed off, but I woke up this morning with a headache the size of a football field...

After sending the kids to school (except Nabil who goes to a baby sitter in the morning), I decided to call in sick and go back to bed...

Infidelity - hereditary?

A friend (HM) once asked me "is infidelity hereditary?" My answer... "Gosh... I hope not".

First let me talk about the reason why she asked me that question. At that time, about 2 years ago, HM had just found out that her husband (ZB) was having an affair with a girl of his office. ZB came home from outstation one day, and because he was too tired, he left his cellphone in the bathroom. HM said, she never checked her husband's cell before that, but that night she suddenly had the "urge" to check its inbox. Well... what do you know... there are some lovey dovey messages in it...

When HM confronted her husband, he denied it of course... But because of being cornered and caught red-handed, he admitted that those texts were to a girl that he "saja-saja kacau". You see HM is actually a very nice, soft spoken, all too trusting type of a girl... she believed ZB. She gave her husband the benefit of the doubt... But nasib baik she was not stupid, she jot down the girl's number.

A few weeks past, she had forgiven and forgotten what her husband did. But, as we Malays always say, Allah nak tunjuk... she found a text (sent message) in her cell to an unknown no that read "good night sayang... miss you". She thought hard about who could have used her cell. Having 2 teenage kids, naturally her suspicion was on them. So the first person she asked was her daughter... negative. Then she went to her son... again negative. Then, suddenly.. TING!!!! a light bulb lighted on her head... she looked for the piece of paper where she wrote down the mysterious girl's no... and voila!!!

Her husband was asleep at that time, and with trembling hand and extremely carefully, she took her husband's cell from under his pillow (classic symptom that a man is cheating on his wife - he guards his cellphone with his life). She opened his inbox... the reply to the text in the sent message in her cellphone was in there. And she checked the cell's balanced credit... zero.

Oh my God... what a bangsat man he is!!! He ran out of prepaid credits on his cell... and used his wife's cell to send a love message to his girlfren... and didnt even bother to delete it... A bangsat true and through!!!

Anyway, that was a Sunday afternoon, so feeling frustrated, cheated and betrayed she took her car and drove for hours. She only came home when she felt her baby kicked... oh.. I forgot to mention that she was 4-month pregnant at the time and that was the first time that she felt the baby moved. She thought, the baby must have been very hungry...

That night she called me and told me all this...

And before we ended our conversation that night, she asked me the above question: Is infidelity or poligamy hereditary? She asked this question, because she said there are many instances of divorces (due to infidelity) and poligamy in her husband's family.

And my answer was "Gosh... I hope not".. because there are also a number divorces, poligamy marriages and bermadu (3 pun ada) in my family and in my soon-to-be-ex's family... and I woudnt want my Mia to go through what I'm going through and I certainly wouldnt wish any of my boys to follow their father's footsteps... Nauzubillah...

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Muaz worries me...

I think the predicament that I am in right now is taking its toll on Muaz... I notice that he is sinking deeper and deeper into depression. We used to be able to talk, but lately that is almost impossible to do. Whenever I tried to make him talk, he would just shrug his shoulders and said “tak tau” or just keep quiet. He is keeping more to himself now.

This, needless to say, worries me... I dont know how to reach to him. I have said all that a mother should say to him, I think. But the more I try the more he keeps to himself...

(Before he shut me out completely) I did ask him if the divorce proceeding that I am going through is bothering him. He said no. I asked again if his father was bothering him, to this question he admitted that he was tired of his father asking him the same questions over and over about me and trying to make him side with him later in court when he will be asked to stand as a witness. I asked again, if he wanted to live with him, he said no. I finally asked him this, “Your father refuses to let me go, and is trying all means to make me move back in with him. Let me ask you this, do you want us back together?” And he answered without hesitation, NO.

Since that last talk, he shut me out completely...

Heat wave?...

Is it me or is this weekend really hot?

Saturday, April 18, 2009

Muaz and Samira...




My Muaz, who is obviously not a little boy anymore, has a girlfriend... Samira. She has never been officially introduced to me... but from her fotos and blog (she added herself as a follower, but never left any comment so far...) she looks like a pleasant girl. Pretty of course... or sweet rather... They look like a handsome couple, dont they?

A Rose by any other name is still a Rose...


Two days ago, I received a text message from a very dear old friend from my university days. Her name is Rose. And last night, she rang me up and we talked for almost an hour...

A call from someone in the past like that will surely jog up streams of memories... It is almost like a lifetime ago that we studied together in the US (well... it was a lifetime ago... 1982-1988... 21 years had gone by...) I studied Economics and Rose, Political Science, at the State University of New York at Albany, now has been rebranded and become The University at Albany... I earned both my BA and MA (in Economics) degrees from that university.

But of course Economics was not the only thing that I learned in the 6 years and 4 months that I spent my life there... I learned much more than that... About friendship... I am still in contact with a number of my friends from those days. Rose is one of them (she is now a Penyelia Petang at SMK Sg Long, and used to be a lecturer at a teacher's college in Pantai KL), Zainon (someone big at EmKay), Zahrah (a Director at Danone), Firdaus (GM at Ambank Group and Zainon's hubby) and Khairiah (A senior lecturer at USM). In between our busy schedules, we managed to meet a few times...

Albany also is the place where I fell in love for the first time... the love that I finally had to give up and let go... hm... let's not talk about that now...

Ok, back to Rose... she told me that she is losing her eyesight gradually and may be losing it entirely in 10 years time due to glaucoma... Actually, she told me about her eye problem, I think 2 years ago, but I didnt think that it was that serious. The last time I met her was last Christmas, she came over for my son's (Aqim) birthday barbecue. She came with her family, so we didnt have the chance to really talk... Anyway, she thought that I had noticed that the affected eye had gone "dead". I didnt actually...

This has caused me to think... I have been too self-absorbed in my own problem that I forget that there are others who are facing bigger problems than me... Forgive me Kak Rose...

But Kak Rose... please just remember this... No matter what happens...

A ROSE BY ANY OTHER NAME IS STILL A ROSE....

Thursday, April 16, 2009

A man and his ego...

Man to hang for killing his wife
By : Sushma Veera - NST

KUALA LUMPUR: His wife is dead. Now he is to be hanged for murdering her.

Their 10-year-old son will not have the care and love of his parents, all because Herman Aliseman, 32, could not control his temper. The boy is now in the care of his grandmother in Sarawak.

Yesterday, despatch rider Herman was sentenced to death by the High Court for murdering his wife, Noor Azura Abdul Aziz, 24, at the staircase leading to his mother-in-law's house in Taman Pusat Kepong, Jinjang, Sentul between 10.30pm and 11.15pm on June 12, 2005.

The couple had been separated for two months prior to the incident and Noor Azura had asked for a divorce but Herman did not agree to it.

A total of 21 prosecution witnesses testified at the trial and Herman took the stand under oath for his defence.
Noor Azura, who worked at a shopping complex in the city, had 14 stab wounds -- three of which were fatal.

One penetrated the heart, another the kidney and the third, the neck.

Herman looked nervous before the decision was delivered by judge Datuk Mohamad Zabidin Mohd Diah.

Zabidin said the defence had failed to raise reasonable doubts and Herman was guilty of murder. "Herman Aliseman, you will be hanged until you die."

Counsel Maj (R) Ghazali Nik Taib said he would appeal the decision.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Perghhh! (speechless)


Utusan Malaysia also ran the same story... but started the report with a question
"Siapa yang lebih kejam, isteri atau suami?" - bangang punya soalan...


2009/04/15
- NST
Divorcee jailed for robbing businessman
KUALA LUMPUR: A man's search for a hotel room ended up with him being robbed by a woman and two men.
While businessman R. Sivapathi, 50, was in Lorong Haji Taib 1 here looking for a hotel room, a woman called him and offered him a room.

The woman led him to a budget hotel and when he stepped into the hotel, two men suddenly closed the grille door.

The two men and the woman then asked Sivapathi to surrender his valuables. After giving them RM220, Sivapathi was released.

Yesterday, the woman, K. Parameswary, 45, was sentenced to four years' jail after she pleaded guilty to robbing Sivapathi with two others still at large of RM220 at the hotel next to a lottery shop in Lorong Haji Taib 1 at 3.50am on Feb 28.
Parameswary, who is a mother of three, said in mitigation that she had no intention to rob Sivapathi.

"I need extra money for my children.

"I am a divorcee and my salary as a shop assistant is only RM350 a month."

Judge Zainal Abidin Kamarudin said as a mother, Parameswary should show a good example to her children.

"I pity your children. Who will give them food and pocket money for school now because you have to go to jail?

"You should have thought about them before doing anything," he said.

Deputy public prosecutor Lee Keng Fatt submitted that based on the facts, the robbery was planned by the accused with two other accomplices.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Perhhh!! Malaysia is a primitive country when it comes to this matter...


Isteri Mel Gibson fail tuntutan cerai

LOS ANGELES: Selepas 30 tahun berkahwin, isteri kepada pemenang Anugerah Oscar, Mel Gibson semalam menfailkan tuntutan cerai.

Robyn Gibson menyifatkan wujud 'perbezaan' antara beliau dengan suaminya yang berusia 53 tahun itu sejak sekian lama yang tidak mampu dipertahankannya lagi.

Mel Gibson terkenal dengan filem yang membawanya memenangi Anugerah Academy iaitu “Braveheart” dan “Lethal Weapon”.

“Sepanjang perkahwinan, kami cuba sedaya upaya menjadikan ia satu hak peribadi keluarga dan begitu juga perpisahan ini," kata Robyn dipetik dalam Majalah People.

Pasangan itu dikurniakan enam anak sejak berkahwin pada 1980.

Mereka asalnya bertemu di Australia ketika Gibson masih lagi belum dikenali dalam dunia lakonan dan ketika itu, Robyn bertugas sebagai pembantu pergigian.

Sekiranya berlaku penceraian, tuntutannya bakal menyaksikan antara yang termahal dalam sejarah Hollywood.

Ini kerana kekayaan Gibson menjangkau sekitar AS$900 juta, menurut laman web selebriti TMZ.com.

Mengikut undang-undang California, semua harta keluarga dan tabungan perlu dibahagikan dua jika berlaku penceraian pasangan. -

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I am not a big fan of Mel Gibson. I posted this article because of the last paragraph... why can't Malaysia have the same law? ... Instead... here, once divorce happens, the spouse whose name does not appear on the title of the property, will be, like begging to have her right... And in my case, even though I am an established co-owner of the house that we used to live in together, and I even have proof of paying some RM68K +, it is so damn hard to get back my money....

Again damn him, and damn those people in pejabat agama!!!

Monday, April 13, 2009

This country if full of male chauvinist pigs!!!


The following article was published in harian metro today. Why did the journalist choose to write this story from this angle, when he could report the inefficiency or the slow pace or even the unjust Mahkamah Syariah? Have you ever heard of a story of a man having to wait even an hour to divorce his wife in this country? Muslim man that is... There is only one word to describe this... CELAKA!!!



Isteri pendam gelora

Oleh Ahmad Shahrul Nizam Muhammad
ahmadshahrul@hmetro.com.my

KUALA LUMPUR: “Saya terpaksa menolak 10 lamaran untuk berumah tangga dalam tempoh tujuh tahun proses permohonan cerai fasakh saya di mahkamah rendah syariah.

“Malah, keinginan berkahwin itu tidak kesampaian apabila kes permohonan cerai yang dibenarkan pada 2007 itu tersekat di mahkamah apabila bekas suami meminta mahkamah lebih tinggi mengkaji semula keputusan itu,” kata ibu tunggal yang mahu dikenali Aisyah, 35, semalam.

Aisyah mengaku mulanya gembira apabila permohonan cerai fasakh terbabit dibenarkan mahkamah selepas menanti lebih tujuh tahun ibarat terlepas beban yang begitu besar.

Kini, menurutnya, dia terpaksa menunggu lagi disebabkan bekas suaminya mengemukakan rayuan terhadap keputusan membenarkan permohonan cerai fasakh terbabit.

Dia yang juga anak seorang ahli perniagaan, berkata pihak mahkamah perlu mempertimbang mempercepatkan proses perceraiannya dengan bekas suami kerana jika kes berkenaan dilewatkan penyelesaiannya, bukan saja mengecewakan dirinya, bahkan keluarga.

“Jangan biarkan saya teraniaya...saya sudah menunggu tujuh tahun dan kini, ditambah dua tahun lagi disebabkan rayuan terbabit.

“Saya sudah tidak tahan lagi ditohmah pihak tertentu walaupun hakikatnya masalah itu boleh diselesaikan secepat mungkin,” katanya yang meminta jangan dia dibiarkan umpama gantung tak bertali.

Aisyah yang mempunyai anak seorang lelaki dan perempuan, berkata dia menghadapi pelbagai tekanan sepanjang menunggu kes permohonan cerai fasakh itu selesai, termasuk peguam tarik diri dan menanggung kos yang tinggi.

Bukan untuk menunjuk, Aisyah berkata, lelaki yang menawarkan diri untuk menyuntingnya kebanyakan di kalangan orang berpendidikan dan bekerjaya baik.

Katanya, semua lamaran terbabit terpaksa ditolak kerana tidak mahu mereka menanti proses permohonan cerai fasakh itu selesai.

“Ada antara menyatakan sanggup membantu menyelesaikan masalah terbabit, tetapi saya tidak bersedia menerima tawaran itu walaupun mereka jujur untuk berbuat demikian,” katanya kepada Harian Metro.

Dia turut mendakwa pernah menulis surat meminta Jabatan Agama Islam Selangor (Jais) mengeluarkan surat cerainya.

Tetapi, menurutnya, Jais menyatakan ia hanya boleh menawarkan peguam berikutan kes permohonan cerai fasakh itu masih di mahkamah.

Aisyah yang juga bekas seorang pensyarah di sebuah universiti tempatan, berkata tempoh sembilan tahun sebagai ibu tunggal menjadi pengalaman perit terpaksa ditanggung hingga meninggalkan kerjaya diminati bagi memberikan tumpuan kepada anak.

“Saya nak bebas dan tolong lepaskan saya kerana tidak sanggup lagi menanggung siksaan ini. Bagaimanapun, saya bersyukur kerana ibu bapa serta adik beradik memberikan sokongan untuk saya terus berjuang mendapatkan hak di mahkamah walaupun begitu lama masa diambil,” katanya.

Aisyah mendirikan rumah tangga dengan bekas suaminya pada usia 23 tahun ketika menuntut di universiti pada 1997.

About change revisited...


What's wrong with the picture above?

I am not a feminist. I have never been one. But to me there is something terribly wrong about the new cabinet line-up, and the new UMNO supreme council for that matter...

I am not interested (much) in politics and I have never been. But the picture above makes me curious as to why it is so...

Sad... sad... very sad... after more than 50 years of independence and the closer we are towards 2020, the change that we see in Malaysia (as far as the female representation in the highest government administration) is for the worse... Indeed it is very sad...

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Muaz...

Muaz is my first born. He entered this world on 12 April 1992, 10 months after I got married. Muaz is an extraordinary boy ever since the day he was born. For a start, I only carried him for 28 weeks, that's less than 7 months! He weighed a mere 1.86 kg. So tiny, so fragile... Yet, he already had two teeth!.... The dr who treated him joked that if he stayed in my womb for a full term he might have had a mouth full of teeth and may have been eligible for Guiness Book of World Record... Hahaha... Despite his low birth weight, he recovered very fast. He only stayed in the incubator (at HKL) for 21 days...

According to my late mom, there was history of small and premature babies in our family, but the last ones (3 to be exact) were more than 20 years before that. All three of my late auntie's sons were born prematurely (my cousins Khair 1962, Hisham 1964 and Salleh 1966). So, when I had Muaz, it became a hot news and many of our relatives and my parents' old friends, some of whom my parents had not seen for a long time, came to visit. He became an instant celebrity!!!

As a baby, Muaz never gave me any problems. He never cried (meragam) for no reasons. He slept through every night without waking up for milk. In fact I had to set up my alarm clock to make sure I woke up every 4 hours to feed him to make sure that he would gain weight. (I will upload his baby pictures later).

When he began to talk (at 1 year +), he called himself "Uash"... And he always asked for permission whenever he wanted to do something. I remember, one day, he was trying to tell me something, but I could not make out as to what he was saying. So, I said, ok... A few minutes later when I went to check on him, I saw he was pulling Amin's little matress, with Amin still on it towards the front door... When I asked him what he was trying to do, he said "Uash nak uang adik"... then only I understood what he was trying to tell me earlier... he said "Ami... Uash nak uang adik oeh tak?" (Translation: Mummy... Uash nak buang adik boleh tak?)... Hahaha...

Today... 12 April 2009, my Muaz is turning 17. My little boy is not little anymore. But sometimes I forget that. Sometimes, when I talked to him or when I scolded him for not studying, or for not tidying up his room, I forgot that he is not a little boy anymore. So, Muaz if you're reading this, please forgive your old mum... may be deep inside, I do want you to stay little, because I know better how to deal with a little boy than a big one... Hm...

My dear Muaz, I wish you a very very happy birthday and may you be stronger and wiser everyday and I hope and pray that you will turn into a smart and fine gentleman that I always see in you ever since you were a baby. No matter what you hear me say or do (when I am angry, because you know me when I am angry... erghhkkrghh....), please remember that I love you very very very much. You and your brothers and sister make up my entire universe... I want you all to know that mummy loves you more than anything in this world.....

Thursday, April 9, 2009

The lights of my life.....

Muaz (17)

Amin - 15

Mia - 12

Aqim - 9

Nabil - 8
Hm... these are my 5 angels... my inspiration... my reasons for being... my universe... (though sometimes they can really be a pain in you know where). But truthfully, without them I would just die....

on being incoherent...

I composed my first entry last night (or rather early this morning) while my thoughts were not really coherent. I was awaken my the sound of a soft cry from my sons' room - my youngest son, Nabil, was weeping in his sleep. He must have been having a bad dream... I sat beside him and stroked his back... Shh... it's only a dream sayang... dont worry... mummy's here... I'm not going anywhere... Hm...

Now as I checked my newly created blog and read the first entry, I could see that my incoherent thinking really shows in my writing...

Let it be... or we say it in our language... biarlah... I am not planning to edit it, perhaps this blog can give an indication of the type of mood I have at the time of me writing a paricular entry...

About change...

I am starting this blog because I notice everyone is blogging now. When I first heard of blogging, I thought they're only for teenagers. And I have 3 teenage children myself... But lately I found out that many of my friends are into this... Wow.. so I thought to myself... why not... give it a try... hahaha....

So, today (or tonight) 9 April 2009, I officially become a blogger...

I remember about 10 years ago when I was working for a GLC in KL, I had a boss who always had radical ideas about looking at things... so-called thinking outside the box... He often said this "the only constant in this life is change"... even though I know now as I knew it then that he was not the first person who said that, somehow what he said sticks in my mind until now. Whenever I am faced with a new predicament that requires me to change, his words became encouraging words that somehow comfort me...

About change... You see there are many things in my life that I wish I could change. But of course that would be impossible because most of the things in our lives are beyond our control. Nevertheless there is one thing that I really really wish that I'd have a good control on... One change that I was really counting on to take place since 16 July 2008... And the reason why I could not have a say in the matter is just one... because I am a woman...

I filed for ta'liq after my patience ran out on 16 July 2008. Since then, I have been up and down the court room (Mahkamah Rendah Syariah Shah Alam) 4 times. His lawyer kept asking for postponement and the horrible (not honourable) judge kept granting it.

If I were a man, the moment I dislike my wife, I can just say "I divorce you" or something that give similar meaning like "I will return you to your parents", the marriage is immediately dissolved. But for a woman, even if she brings with her mountains of evidence that she has been tortured physically and mentally by her spouse, there is no guarantee that she will be free of the marriage.

So... in this country... there is one thing that will never ever ever change... the way the men run the Mahkamah Syariah... even more backward than the Rasulullah era... They are running it like in zaman jahiliyah...

Celaka pejabat ugama!! Celaka hakim yang tidak saksama!!! Celaka! Celaka!! dan Celaka!!!